64-articles

Do you get up in the morning determined to have a good day and before you know it, you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and that you can’t wait for the day to be over so you can rest?  Do you feel like you are existing from day to day rather than living a life of joy?  Do you ever ask yourself, “Is this all there is, and if it is, do I want it?”  If so, you are not alone.

Thousands of people just like you are asking these same questions.  These are the people who thought that if they just did it right everything would be okay.  Right meant – getting married, having children, buying the starter house, moving to the larger house and two car garage, and so on including getting a good education so you could make lots of bucks.  You keep running to keep up with this picture of success and yet you feel so empty.  The emptiness feels like isolation, loneliness, and exhaustion.  I call this emptiness ‘existential despair.’

Existential Despair

Existentialism is a philosophy centred upon the analysis of existence and stressing the freedom, responsibility, and usually the isolation of the individual.  Despair means utter loss of hope or a cause of hopelessness.  ’Existential despair’ then means the painful discrepancy between what is, and what should be, between one’s perceptions, and one’s suppositions.

This sense of loss or the absence of meaning in one’s life is the common denominator of all forms of emotional distress and has been identified as the ‘modern day illness.’  Pain, disease, disappointment, loss, failure, alienation, or merely boredom – all lead to this feeling that life is meaningless.  ’Existential despair’ exists when we buy the myth that having the external goodies creates success and happiness.  We do and buy everything we can to fill the ‘hole in our soul’ except the one thing that really matters – going within and making peace with ourselves.

Making Peace with Ourselves

Making peace with ourselves involves changing the way we habitually focus our energy.  What this means is that WHAT YOU FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON EXPANDS.  Scientists are discovering that energy never dies; rather, it changes form as attention is focused on it.  Thoughts are energy.  A belief is a thought with expectations attached.  Everything starts with a thought and reality is created by expectant thoughts.

One of the universal laws is the Law of Increase.  This law ensures that whatever you concentrate on will increase in your life.  In other words, whatever you think about expands and therefore you will receive even more.  In an empowering (positive) way, expressing gratitude for all the many blessings you have received accelerates this process.  In a limiting (negative) way, the same principle applies.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is the state of being grateful: thankfulness. What does this mean in terms of our lives?  Essentially this means that when we look at life as an opportunity to grow in love, and learn about opening our hearts with love, we see the world from a place of healing and peace.  When we look at the world as a place of pain and suffering that is also what we see. Pain and suffering actually constricts our hearts and affects our physical health.

Gratitude as a Way of Life

How many of us live our lives being grateful for the many blessings we have?  How many times a day do we say ‘thank you’?  When was the last time you said ‘thank you’ to yourself for creating this wondrous being that you are?

What would your day look like if you lived your life as if everything was a gift to you?  How would you start the day if the first thing you did was to be thankful for the gift of life?  One of the quotes I especially like is by Jim Evans.  It is, “If you don’t think everyday is a great day, try going without one.”  Black Elk (Native American visionary) spoke of his habit of greeting each morning by stepping outside, letting his bare feet touch the wet grass literally reconnecting with the earth, and singing a prayer of gratitude for the day’s arrival.

Practical Steps to Practicing Gratitude

1.  Start a gratitude journal.  Depending on which author you read, suggestions range from 5 – 80 things a day.  What works for me is saying ‘thank you’ to everything I encounter each day, for example a sunrise/sunset, hoar frost on the trees (especially when the sun is shining), food, shelter, warm homes and offices, clothing, colleagues, work/jobs, lessons about living peace, etc.

2.  Remember: Meister Eckhart’s saying, “The most important prayer in the world is just two words: THANK YOU.”

3.  Do a gratitude alphabet exercise.  In your notebook, write the letters from A – Z.  As fast as you can, write down I am grateful for ___________ starting with the letter A and going through the alphabet.  For example: I am grateful for apples, I am grateful for bananas, I am grateful for carrots, and so until you finish all the letters.

4.  Start your day by being thankful for all the blessings you have.

5.  Practice an ‘Act of Kindness’ everyday.

6.  Look for ways you can genuinely praise your partner, your child, your colleague, your employees, the person who serves you – such as a waitress, mail carrier, paper delivery person, police officers, etc.

7.  Thank the earth for sustaining your life by providing food, air, and water.

8.  Write a letter to the Universe expressing gratitude for all your blessings.

9.  Thank your parents for giving you life.

10. Thank the Universe for all the lessons you have received.

Thinking. What does thinking mean? It means reflecting upon and analyzing the different aspects of a situation or a condition or any issue. This needs time. How many of us think? Why should we think? What are the issues about which we should think? If you are a medical professional, do you need to think about politics? If you are a computer professional, do you need to think

about stars? If you are a housewife, do you need to think about the petroleum prices around the world?

Our thinking

What should be our areas of thinking? Do not many of us waste time by thinking about issues that don’t touch their life at all? We are all given limited time during a day. We only have 24 hours and we have to manage time in such a way that we get maximum results that help us. Getting results in areas that don’t help us, are of no use. Same applies to thinking. The

question- what should I think about needs an answer to – What are my priorities in my life. If this year, my priority is to get a promotion then I need to think about the ways I can get it. If this year, my child is getting into a college, my priority is to know more about college life and think of ways to make him more comfortable in the college and help him get better results. Everyday, we know about our priorities and we have to direct thinking towards that. For example, you may love thinking about astronomy. But if your spouse is in the hospital fighting a bad disease, your priority is to learn more about that disease and think of ways to make your spouse recover faster.

Breaking old patterns

Many of us have developed patterns of thinking and we don’t get away from these patterns even when required. This is wrong. We have to think about what we should think. That is our first job. And to know about that, we have to have life goals, divide them in small time frames and achieve them one after another. Our thinking has to help us doing that.

What should we think about?

Thinking about issues that lead to a happier life for us and help us achieve our goals is the correct way of thinking and investing time in that. To invest time thinking about poverty in the world, if we are ourselves running short of money will not help anyone. But if we think about the ways we can make more money, that will help us surely.

Give some thoughts on where you should apply your thinking towards, and be successful in what you do.

The most significant thing you can do in any relationship  is to be honest and gain the trust of your partner. But if the relationship is a “toxic relationship”, you might want to find the best solution that works for the both partners and be honest while doing so. You first need to decide if the toxic relationship is suffering because of your own issues, including behaviors. People change; emotions change and when we get to a point of no return, we can often search inside ourselves to see if the problem in the relationship lies within ourselves.

Relationships are based on trust and understanding one another. If you do not have trust and understanding, more than likely your relationship will turn into a “toxic relationship”. This means you and your partner need to find a solution to deal with the problem, or get out.

Building a solid foundation is the first step to a successful relationship.  Foundations based on stability offer a rewarding, long-lasting relationship, while unstable foundations lead to breakups. Therapy is good, but if you can sit down and talk through your own problems this is the best solution and it will save you money.

Incompatibility can lead to breakup, thus weighing out your relationship vigilantly before committing more seriously to the relationship can prevent disaster. If you are already involved in a toxic relationship more than likely, you will need to evaluate the compatibilities. You do have the options of working through the incompatibilities or getting out.

Compatibility extends to family history. If you are suffering problems due to family quarrels, the ride gets strenuous. Families that tend to like the person their child is with, is less likely to give you problems. Many persons who begin relationships and have been with their mate for sometime may find that neither party is compatible. The relationship can still work if the two of you communicate and comprise a plan that both can agree on.  Read and learn the steps in good relationships by buying books that offer a good strategy for the incompatible couples.

Many times people commit to relationships with the idea that they can change the other person later. This is never good! Either you like whom you meet, or you do not. No one can change another human being, the person must have the desire to change him or her self, and the first step to change is acceptance and then willingness to make the changes.

One should be skeptical of those who vow to change for you. Often the promises are not met, or the person has “hidden terrors” that could be forced onto you later.

If you are a dreamer, you may look at your mate as a fantasy. This is not good either. You lose the benefits by not getting to know the person you have mated with or you wake up from your dream and find that you made a serious mistake.

The chief focus to keep in mind is to communication, spend quality time, stay focused, and lay a good foundation for your relationship; keep it honest and learn to trust one another, with unselfish motives.

As you can see, sharing plays a large part in love and relationships. When two people share, they are giving something to the other that leaves a lasting feeling of joy and love. Two people working together without selfishness often build a relationship on solid grounds, and often endure through tribulations, joyous moments, and so forth. Relationships built on solid grounds rarely fall apart when troubles come their way. Thus, enhance your toxic relationship, or get out!

http://premature-ejaculation-cure–treatment.blogspot.com

Can you REALLY be a secret shopper or mystery shopper? Will people really pay you to dine out or shop? Absolutely. I’ve been a secret shopper MANY times eating out and shopping on my own (and being reimbursed for it). I’ve done the same with my husband or a friend (yes…sometimes the meals are for two). If you’re observant, keep appointments, can answer multiple choice questions and write a few detailed paragraphs about your visit, you can be a secret shopper too.

Companies hire mystery shoppers to shop and experience a service and product. Then you (the mystery shopper) complete and turn in a written evaluation per that company’s instructions.

Mostly a mystery shopper acts undercover (the location doesn’t know they’re being shopped); but sometimes the hiring company asks you to reveal yourself at the end of the shop for various reasons such as to give an employee a reward for top customer service. Or some even ask you to use a digital camera now to take a photo of the product.

I shopped for several years as a mystery shopper and now I only do so every now and then due to my schedule. Regardless, I still receive weekly e-mails alerting me to potential mystery shopper assignments in my area from lots of companies. So once you’re on a mystery shopping agent’s list and you’ve bagged a couple of shops as a mystery shopper without making errors, you’ll keep getting asked over and over again.

I’ve personally shopped and been reimbursed for meals (sometimes for two people) at restaurants like Ruby Tuesday, Applebees, Red Hot and Blue, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Arby’s ,CiCi’s Pizza and more.

I’ve shopped inside mall and outlet stores that sell clothing or other items and was paid flat fees. I’ve shopped free-standing stores such as Kmart. I’ve bowled at two different bowling lanes as a mystery shopper. I’ve bought books at book stores paid for by the mystery shopping company. I shopped a golf range and store with my husband at the mystery shopping company’s expense. I’ve purchased gas and drinks at convenience stores as a mystery shopper.

And more…

I’ve had offers to do mystery shops at banks, bus stations, home sales/model showrooms, hotels, bars and other places.

When I was actively mystery shopping, I had more offers than time. So I decided to limit my mystery shopping experiences to meals for two (with my husband) for which I’d be reimbursed. $40 or $50 meals is nothing to snicker at!

And in fact I’ve just lined up a mystery shop for a new steakhouse in town. They’re going to reimburse me $35 for dinner for two. Maybe it won’t cover the entire bill (the way we eat) but try to find a coupon that pays that much for dinner out at a nice dine-in restaurant.

Likewise, as a mystery shopper you should only accept assignments that you want, preferably ones in your area that fit conveniently in with your working schedule.

A final word of advice…be patient once you apply to a mystery shopping company. I’ve had jobs roll in weeks later after applying. It all depends on demand and supply at that time. But often the demand rules (and I’ve even been paid double and triple fees for taking assignments from assigning companies who were in a last-minute bind to get the job done).

Learning how to create abundance in your life is about much more than gathering financial abundance.

Abundance is a fundamental facet of nature too. Abundance is apparent in nature; one only needs to look at a field of flowers or wild fruit to understand how nature can be generous to the point of waste.

Many people associate the word abundance with affluence or financial prosperity but in truth experiencing abundance in your own life stretches to your experience of love and life too.

Wealth, good health, loving and passionate relationships and a strong sense of self will resonate from a person who truly experiences abundance. Living your life to the fullest means experiencing an abundance. Anyone who is not overly controlled by their own limits can experience abundance. So what kinds of things hold us back from experiencing abundance in our own lives?

Society: society can sabotage our attempts to live life to the fullest.

Our own fears of experiencing abundance: perhaps on some level you don’t feel you are worthy of success? Are you sabotaging your own chances of a happy life?

Held back by daily stresses. It’s the chronic ‘hurry syndrome’ of our generation. We constantly rush to get things done with contribute little to out master plan.

Self-empowerment courses are easy to find and many authors who experience abundance in their own lives have many great techniques for easing the flow of abundance in your own life.

Most people wish to live more abundantly (not only financially).

Your internal dialogue directly influences how you experience prosperity. At various times in your life, you are controlled by different aspects of your personality. Allowing the ‘dreamer’ to take center stage will benefit your life tremendously. After all acknowledging and striving for your dreams are fundamental parts of life.

Creating some kind of balance will also encourage the flow of prosperity in your life. After all, karmic principles have an undeniable ring of truth. These principles are echoed in Western religions too. Christians preach the principle of doing unto others and this is a lovely concept to live by. Why not try doing unto yourself as you wish others would? By loving and respecting yourself you open the channels for abundance to flow freely. Those who do good can only attract good.

Enjoying the fullness of living means inviting joy into your life at any possible opportunity. Don’t do things you don’t enjoy life’s too short. Have that extra glass of wine within reason or indulge in that chocolate. Savor wonderful experiences, textures, sights, sounds. Engage your senses on a daily basis.

Are you really, truly living the life you want to live? Claim your life of abundance today you DO deserve it

Barbara sought my help because of her chronic fatigue. She had been going to different kinds of doctors and trying different nutrition plans for years and nothing was helping her. One of the doctors suggested that she try psychotherapy.

In became evident early in our work together than Barbara was deeply addicted to thinking the worst. Constant negativity went through her mind about every aspect of her life. She would get out of her car and worry about getting robbed. In social situations, she would tell herself that people didn’t like her. She was always worried about money, even though she was a successful graphic designer. Her husband could never do anything right. There was something wrong with every doctor she saw.

Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. I told Barbara to imagine that she was telling these negative thoughts to a child. How would the child feel most of the time? Barbara could see that this child would, of course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time in response to all the negativity and catastrophic thinking.

The medical profession has long told us that stress is one of the leading causes of illness. Stress sets into motion the body’s fight or flight response, pouring cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting the adrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of the results of so much negative thinking.

While Barbara could understand the possible effect her negative thinking was having on her health, it was extremely challenging for her to give up her negative thinking. Barbara deeply believed that her negative thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She believed that thinking the negative thought before the bad thing would happen prepared her to deal with it. She didn’t want to be caught off guard. She believed that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, so that if she knew about it ahead of time and actually expected it, she wouldn’t feel disappointed.

In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and thought through all the bad things that could happen, she could prevent them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have control over the outcome of things.

Finally, Barbara also believed that she could control how people felt about her by acting right and saying the right thing. She was constantly vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how they felt about her and treated her.

However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and the outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.

The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?

The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in the moment. When we are fully present in the moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to control the future.

Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.

Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.

Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in the moment.

We all have this favorite expression when it comes to being stressed out, and I wouldn’t bother naming all of them since it may also vary in different languages. But when it comes down to it, I think that it is how we work or even relax, for that matter that triggers stress. Ever been stressed even when you’re well relaxed and bored? I know I have.

Since Error! Hyperlink reference not valid. is unavoidable in life, it is important to find ways to decrease and prevent stressful incidents and decrease negative reactions to stress. Here are some of the things that can be done by just remembering it, since life is basically a routine to follow like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast. You can do a few of them in a longer span of time, but as they say– every minute counts.

Managing time

Time management skills can allow you more time with your family and friends and possibly increase your performance and productivity. This will help reduce your stress.

To improve your time management:

· Save time by focusing and concentrating, delegating, and scheduling time for yourself.

· Keep a record of how you spend your time, including work, family, and leisure time.

· Prioritize your time by rating tasks by importance and urgency. Redirect your time to those activities that are important and meaningful to you.

· Manage your commitments by not over- or undercommitting. Don’t commit to what is not important to you.

· Deal with procrastination by using a day planner, breaking large projects into smaller ones, and setting short-term deadlines.

· Examine your beliefs to reduce conflict between what you believe and what your life is like.

Build healthy coping strategies

It is important that you identify your coping strategies. One way to do this is by recording the stressful event, your reaction, and how you cope in a stress journal. With this information, you can work to change unhealthy coping strategies into healthy ones-those that help you focus on the positive and what you can change or control in your life.

Lifestyle

Some behaviors and lifestyle choices affect your stress level. They may not cause stress directly, but they can interfere with the ways your body seeks relief from stress. Try to:

· Balance personal, work, and family needs and obligations.

· Have a sense of purpose in life.

· Get enough sleep, since your body recovers from the stresses of the day while you are sleeping.

· Eat a balanced diet for a nutritional defense against stress.

· Get moderate exercise throughout the week.

· Limit your consumption of alcohol.

· Don’t smoke.

Social support

Social support is a major factor in how we experience stress. Social support is the positive support you receive from family, friends, and the community. It is the knowledge that you are cared for, loved, esteemed, and valued. More and more research indicates a strong relationship between social support and better mental and physical health.

Changing thinking

When an event triggers negative thoughts, you may experience fear, insecurity, anxiety, depression, rage, guilt, and a sense of worthlessness or powerlessness. These emotions trigger the body’s stress, just as an actual threat does. Dealing with your negative thoughts and how you see things can help reduce stress.

· Thought-stopping helps you stop a negative thought to help eliminate stress.

· Disproving irrational thoughts helps you to avoid exaggerating the negative thought, anticipating the worst, and interpreting an event incorrectly.

· Problem solving helps you identify all aspects of a stressful event and find ways to deal with it.

· Changing your communication style helps you communicate in a way that makes your views known without making others feel put down, hostile, or intimidated. This reduces the stress that comes from poor communication. Use the assertiveness ladder to improve your communication style.

Even writers like me can get stressed even though we’re just using our hands to do the talking, but having to sit for 7 or 8 hours is already stressful enough and have our own way to relieve stress. Whether you’re the mail guy, the CEO, or probably the average working parent, stress is one unwanted visitor you would love to boot out of your homes, especially your life.